when does it stop hurting

i have been trying to resolve some specific path in my life...i feel that whatever i decide now will affect the whole course of my life. but i am cluless!
bhai's friend saqib called just now...he found out that i got engaged and was angry that we didnt tell him. and i had to tell him what happened. and it still hurts. two months on and the pain still brings me to my knees, still makes me cry, still makes me want to hide my face, still takes me back to tht one week where i start re-living all that i have been thru in those 7 days. i dont know how this will ever end? i know he's happy and married...i want to be happy and married too. but he's the winner in this equation...
the other day i realised that i had taken a few things for granted. i thought i was oh such a nice girl...i pray, i fast, i respect mt elders, observe purdah to some extent...i thought i was entitled to happiness. i was wrong. i was so wrong and yet i feel wronged.
gonna go talk to boss and ask for leave to prepare for CSS. i hope this works out. i need for this to work out...desperately!!!!!!