Post-Birthday Resolutions

yes! yet another day and i am back in office. was talking to Amrat about how it feels like a recorded video cassette that plays itself over and over again. Alison told me hat I have the Temperance card in my reading this week which basically shows that i am in a period of Calm and Tranquility and i guess it is like that. Stagnation does have this inert quality of making things seem placid and life becomes more and more composed. I dont really mind being like this...i rather think i needed this in my life.
I was talking to Ali S. the other day. I am discovering a whole new side to his personality. I mean i thought he was incapable of having serious conversations with but he just pretends to be like that. anyhoo, as we were talking, he asked me if i am happy? if i get up in the morning looking forward to the day and i enjoy what i do? I cant say i am happy, but yes i am calm. i know my life is uncertain and the unknown scares me so much sometimes that i just sit and cry. but i am more focused now then i have ever been in my life. I dont get up particularly looking forward to the day but i am not apprehensive the way i was in months of May and June. and i wish i could travel for a living but this current job is quite satisfactory. I know that right now i am in a holding pattern and the uncertainty and endless possibilities make me ambivalentand hesitant. but i also know that i have never had a stronger opportunity in time than what i have now. and i am scared that i will screw things up like i have in the past. but i know i need to confront my fears.

and it just started raining again. i just love the rain. today, InshaAllah, i am going to have Biyani for lunch mom made for me and my colleagues.

I also spoke to Andre about two days back. he's one of the very few people that i genuinely respect, especially after seeing some careless and insensitive brutes in my recent past. He asked me about my future plans and i told him how i am trying to find a scholarship and i am so glad he understood my perspective on this.

our NLE is playing Saathiya's sound track right now and i feel like going up on the roof and eating samoosas while it rains.

oh, the post birthday resolution! well as i was talking to Ali S. we discussed how i dont have a hobby at all. i mean reading is a part of my existence, not a hobby. well, i think i will either take up basketball, been thinking about for a while or i can start boxing or i can learn to play the violin. i think basketball is fun and easy. i can put up a hoop on the roof and once i have learnt to play basketball, i may take up any of the other hobbies. lol... when i told Zam about this, i was told that at this point people try to get a 'you' in their lives, i am trying to get an 'O';). well, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!