wake me up when september ends

As I said earlier, I am not exactly keen on the idea of my birthday this year. I wish I forgot about this day and so did everybody else. And yet, today faro called me to wish me a happy birthday. And I was like…aik to meri birthday yaad rakhna aur upper sai who bhi ghalat din….augh!
I wanted to stay up last night and pray and then fast today. I went to sleep around 11:30, thought I’d wake up after two hours and pray. I woke up at 5 a.m.
I honestly don’t know where I am headed…and my prayers used to be the agent that allowed me to be steadfast…gave me hope. Now, I can’t even pray. How did I end up here? Who have I become?
Green Day’s boulevard of broken dreams has become my personal anthem:

I walk a lonely road
The only one I that have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But its home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And were I walk alone

Read between the lines of what's
Fucked up and every things all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I am comprehensively lost…and alone and there’s really nothing else to be said about it.